What I've Learned about Friendship from Eric

Eric was placed by the school district in program with other “high functioning” autistics. Meaning most of his classmates have Asperger’s and are pretty articulate. Some are incredibly knowledgeable and quite chatty about their areas of interest. Eric is not like that at all. He struggles with language, both expressive and receptive. But somehow Eric makes friends.

Eric has matured and improved to a point where I no longer need to facilitate socialization when he has a friend over. From snippets of overheard conversations and things Eric tells me directly, I now have a better understanding of what friendship is. It’s not about sharing things in common or having deep conversations. His friend loves chemistry, rockets, and things that blow up. Eric is not that into science but he is a willing listener, and tries to understand. He seems to enjoy the energy and cheerful excitement his friend has over his favorite topic. His friend does not pressure Eric to have an ongoing conversation. Ironically, Eric talks more when the pressure is off. His friend won’t judge him. And Eric would never say to his friend, “why can’t we talk about something else.” There is an understanding between them that it’s ok to relax and be yourself when you are with me. They are enjoying each others company and it’s not about the words exchanged. They are not in two separate worlds --they are together and there is a bond.